I LOVE PAT!!!!!

rachel's profile on Yahoo!

2009-07-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

rachel's profile on Yahoo!: "How do I find this?"

2009-04-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

omg. High school is so much fun. the guy in the pink is my boyfriend and the other guy is one of my friend. This is a picture from gender bender day. I love high school so much. I have to write another book of poetry. woohoo. anyway in class got to go. i will write later. promise.

2009-01-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

Wow I have not wrote for a long time so anyway yeah. There is nothing to write about. Nothing interesting going on in my life or anything. Just doing what a lame high school student would do.

why, daddy, why????

2008-12-16T09:28:00.000-08:00

You were my dad that I once knew But little do you know the pain you put me through I’ve grown up and realized That your life is nothing but one thousand lies You say that you love me more than I know But if that were true then why doesn’t it show? I know you have her And you love her, I'm sure But don’t forget I’m in your blood too But obviously that doesn’t mean anything to you I remember when I was the twinkle in my daddy’s eyes Then he left one day with out saying good-bye You say moms standing in the way And all she wants is for you to pay Maybe that’s true But what can I do? I’m your daughter And you’re supposed to be my father Does that mean anything to you? But that you'll never see And a father you will never be If you could see the tears running down my face Still the years have passed you can’t replace So, dad I’ve given up on you and this time I’ll leave. From this day forward I’ll just call you Bill.

daddy with a new wife

2008-12-16T09:27:00.000-08:00

Daddy where are you now I just keep asking my self how How you can just walk out of my life and not even care I'm always thinking about you, when I am getting dressed, brushing my teeth, or even doing my hair. I just want to know am I the one who made you leave? were you tired of me? Why do you put me through this pain, I'm always thinking about you, especially when it rains. Why don't you call or come see me anymore? Why does everybody think that I would be better off without you I would put anybody before you, even my boo. I need you in my life, I know you're about to have a new wife, but I love you and I need you to love me, too.

a stranger to me

2008-12-16T09:25:00.000-08:00

Before he opened his mouth, His panic spoke to me Oh God what's happening? Dad was leaving us, again First it was out of the house 6 years ago But now across the country? My body went numb I couldn't force myself to cry, I loved him so much how could I be so angry This is MY fault! Was I not good enough? Does he not love me anymore? But now he's just someone we seldom see A man who will never know the real me A complete stranger to his baby girls Who used to worship the ground he walked on. Just a check once a month. He has more kids now the focus of his life. An ongoing process, A constant game of tug-of-war. But in this game, there is no winner and no end.

come back

2008-12-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

you said you would come back for me Why you didn't, I just don't know You said you are here for me Then why do I feel so alone? You left me but you didn't care you broke my heart so many times I didn't want to let it show so I kept it bottled up inside you left me crying every night I couldn't trust no more I don't want a loved one to just walk away like you did before I was thinking about you yesterday Do you ever think about me? everybody would lie for you Why didn't you come back for me? You saw the tears run down my cheek but you just walked away So I give up my love for you, Dad That's all I want to say.

daddys little girl

2008-12-16T09:23:00.000-08:00

Broken promises and sad goodbyes you left me standing all alone with tears in the well of my eyes. In the blink of an eye, you turned your back and walked away; often I wonder if I'm the reason you didn't stay. Everyday I dream of how perfect my life would be if you were here. You could be my everlasting sheild and protect me from all my fears. Or whenever I'm down you would hold me in your arms and wipe away my tears. But deep in my heart I know it will never be; that you would walk back into my life and never leave me. Birthdays, Graduations, Prom: you've missed it all. And it hurts so much because you didn't even bother to call. The truth is I need you here in my life. When I get married, I want you there to give me away to become a wife. And when I graduate I want to see that look of satisfaction on your face. I don't want another man to take your place. For there's nothing I want more in this world than to just be daddy's little girl.

you said.....

2008-12-16T09:22:00.001-08:00

Where were you for ten years? It was because of you I would cry You said that you would be there But I’ve heard that lie Where were you when I needed you You were at work or gone I don't want twenty bucks, I want you But things don’t change with a wave of a wand But you wouldn’t understand You were never there I need you Not a teddy bear I wanted a hug from my dad Not my step-mom But you left again And told me to stay calm I would call every week And after I would cry But you wouldn’t care That’s why I said bye!

dad

2008-12-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

All those times I cried for you, you never came Out of all the sports I played You never showed up at one game All of the awards I received I never heard you clap You were never there For me to sit on your lap All the times I fell and scratched my knee You were the one who wasn't there To comfort me All those times I was bored And wanted someone to call You still weren't there Not there at all I always tried to make you proud Hoping you would love me more but you never seemed to care So what did I even do it for You weren't there for any of my firsts Might not be for any of my lasts It's like you're not here in my present Just like you weren't there in my past I try to move on But no one knows how hard it is For your own father not to love you As much as he loves his other kids But I hold my head high To keep things from looking so bad But deep down I still wish I had love from my dad.

today

2008-12-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

First period today we had vistors from the state ffa officers. It was really fun. We play games and we got candy. I am still upset about my dad walking out of my live. He doesn't even care about me. One day a few days ago he said I am tired of you and said goodbye. i just hope this time he doesn't come back. I am still afraid all the people that are here from me now are going to walk out of my live some day. I still think Adam will leave me too There is just that one little voice that is saying that to me. They is so much I wish I could tell him but I am to afraid to. I wish I could be honest about the whole other youth group things. I just don't want to hurt him by saying something stupid. I wish I could tell him more about my live but I am too scared that he will reject me. Its like I am not good enough for him. I can do anything that will make him like me. He doesn't like me for me. Its like he wants me to be a different person.

lighted christmas parade

2008-12-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

wow was the lighted christmas parade fun. I enjoyed it so much. it was so hot though for a little while. but yeah i am whipped so i am going to bed. night.

Bored and Pepto

2008-12-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

Wow today has been really boring so far. I can't wait until the lighted christmas parade. It is going to be so much fun. I just wish Travis could be here to be in the parade with Rebecca and me. Last year we had so much fun. It is going to be really different this christmas without him. I finally pass my typing test. That was really hard. I am really scared for my friend Mandy because she came to school in tears and she ran away. she won't talk to anyone. I am finding Romeo & Juilet more interesting now. I have finally pull my grade up. I was hard work. I am so bored. My friend Rebecca isn't at school today and after we get done with are work in this class, we can hang out and talk. We have like a half hour everyday.Here is a picture of my pig Pepto. Yeah me I finally got my pig. I don't get ownership though until the 1st of January. My teacher has it right now.

ag class today

2008-12-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

it was really weird. we got these cattle we have to harness break , well today we castrated them. it was totally gross. i never want to do anything like that again. it made me want to throw up. who on gods green earth would made teenagers castrate cattle anyway?